Happiness is a Personal Choice

“I believe the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we are all seeking something better in life. So I think the very motion of our life is towards happiness.” The Dalai Lama

When we want something like a better body or to be happy we want it fast, but we tend to forget that the condition we are in right now took time to reach. So here we’ll try to teach ourselves how to treasure the time to be happy again and in the condition we can appreciate.

There is a subtlety, a secret. We think that if everything is fine, then we will be happy. Nope … this is not how it works. First, we became happy and that’s when everything becomes lovely!

The truth is that happiness is not in the absence of problems it’s in the ability to deal with them.

Happiness is an art that one has to learn. It has nothing to do with your doing or not doing.

Authentic Happiness

In the last few years, psychologists and researchers have been digging up hard data on a question previously left to philosophers: What makes us happy?

Stanford psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and ethicist Stephen Post have studied people all over the world to find out how things like money, attitude, culture, memory, health, altruism, and our day-to-day habits affect our well-being.

The emerging field of positive psychology is bursting with new findings that suggest your actions can have a significant effect on your happiness and satisfaction with life.

Harvard’s resident happiness professor, Tal Ben-Shahar, agrees, “Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable.”

Most people have no idea what actually makes them happy. We assume that external things can make us happy such as a promotion at work, a new IPhone or a new relationship.

The fact is, we are much more likely to get pleasure from the things we do as well as what and how we think, rather than from circumstances or material things. We need to learn to teach ourselves how to be happy.

In her article “What Is Happiness?” Robin Miller, MD MHS wrote the following:

“What is happiness all about?

Many scientists have tried to answer that question. One of the major studies was the Harvard Grant Study. In this study the researchers followed 268 male Harvard undergraduates from the classes of 1938-1940 for 75 years. They collected data at regular intervals and found some very interesting information.

First and foremost love is the answer. Regardless of how much money, health and success the subjects had they were only happy if they had love and supportive relationships in their lives.

Having money and power did not correlate with happiness. Rather, contentment with work is what really mattered.

Even if you are unhappy in the early part of your life, you can find happiness later. One of the subjects had been sad and suicidal early in life but found happiness later by making connections with others.”

You Are in Control

Happiness is not a button on GPS that you can push to reach your destination. If you want to be happy there is a decision to make.

We are product of our thoughts, so we need to be prepared to be in control of them.

You can’t prevent thoughts appearing in your mind, but you can choose what thoughts will remain there.

Our beliefs create our reality.

Happiness takes effort. Misery is comfortable, it’s why so many people prefer misery. We have to kill those excuses that we create for not improving our life, or they will kill us.

In the pursuit of happiness sometimes you need to just stop and be happy.

Think Positive Thoughts

There are no unimportant moments. The quality of each moment depends on what we give to that moment and not on what we can get from it! Every moment is precious! While the past and future have their place, most of us can benefit from thinking less about them, and more about the present by putting in the effort to enjoy the smaller daily pleasures you experience, your well-being will improve and time will slow down. Instead of being lost in thought, you can appreciate every single moment and focus on the things that are most important to you.

“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.” – Eat.Pray.Love. Elizabeth Gilbert