“The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.”
― Neale Donald Walsch
Relationships have many levels of complexity starting from finding the right person to making a commitment, or realizing whether we want it or not. Maintaining or building it; building excitement, desire, happiness; creating the reason to stand up for the person, or being monogamous; creating situations where there’s no reason to cheat, and find out it all depends on you. It is all in your power and control.
We tend to look for our other or better half without realizing we are implying that we ourselves are not complete and need someone else to make us whole. While being happy with yourself and looking for a completed person as a life partner we are creating a path for an honest, respectful, sustainable and long lasting relationship. Learn how to love the person for what you are becoming together!
Building a sustainable relationship requires awareness, learning new interpersonal skills and what unconditional love is; magic solutions don’t exist, we are not selling “magical thinking tools”. I am saying this from my own experience and years of counselings. For another opinion of how thinking, attitude and behaviour directly affects our life and those around us read this article.
Ask Yourself the Right Questions
You need to ask yourself why do you want a relationship. Is it to achieve your own goals in life? Is it because everyone else has one, and you can’t be without? Is it because it will solve your problems and make you happy?
Or is it because you want to share your excitement, your knowledge, your achievements, your discoveries, your emotions; to be acknowledged, to be appreciated and share your appreciation. To experience love and be loved as you are, and to love the person as he/she really is?
Everybody screws up and gets emotional – it’s what you do afterwards that matters. When we hurt too many of us behave and react impulsively like a child, but that creates negativity and blocks a solution. In a romantic relationship we act like mature adults accepting reality as it is. No one is perfect but everyone is unique.
We all want to be happy in our relationship. The best way to understand how to make it work would be to realize that to love someone is up to you. It’s on a personal level, where you can give and get the pleasure to experience the gift of giving your love.